Weirdro ... I mean, Woodrow

I would say long story short. But let's be honest...

Long story long, this is how I found out my dog has an array of mental disorders:

Our Border Collie had a little run-in with a groundhog recently:

Shortly after I quit filming, the little rodent jumped up on Woodrow, dug into the dog's back with his sharp teeth, and bit down hard so he could hang on for a wild ride.

Woody squealed like a pig while he tried to shake the groundhog off. He bucked like a bronc flinging the critter from side to side.

Eventually the pup succeeded.

That's when J tracked down the groundhog in some nearby brush.

I won't tell you what the stick is for.

We'll just say we had to figure out a way to keep the groundhog from going anywhere, in the event he had to be tested for rabies.

The following day, Woodrow went to the vet to get a rabies booster just to be safe.

While I was there, I asked the vet if dogs happen to get schizophrenia.

Yes, especially Border Collies, she quickly answered.

And Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, too.

That explains a lot.

And I'm not trying to be funny.

Woodrow is truly 100% schizophrenic and OCD.

This dog has the most ridiculous tendencies, habits and freakout sessions.

To put it plain and simple: he's a nutjob.

But he's just so darn lovable.

So affectionate and loyal.

I like to think that his mental instability just adds to his personality.

Of course, it doesn't help matters when I torture him with his arch nemesis, the handheld fan, while in the tight confines of my car.

I'm a jerk, I know.