Tuesday, June 29, 2010

I'll Take the Wheel

I must have been a dude in another life because I love big equipment. I keep telling my husband that I have graduated past cars and trucks and I'm ready to start driving tractors on the farm. Or maybe even his big tandem truck. I love the giant hula-hoop sized steering wheel. It makes me feel important.

I can tell this is going to be a slow process though. He started me small on a cabless Massey Ferguson a couple of years ago. He was in a pinch and needed some field work done before the rain moved in. He was very sweet and said that crop would be his best because it was planted with love. That's until he realized I ran over a boulder-sized rock and inadvertently dragged it across the field leaving a long, deep rut the size of Florida. Oops.

Pigs will fly before he lets that happen again, but you better believe I will keep putting my persuasive powers to work to change his mind.

So for now, I'm merely a passenger... which usually requires an entry fee of lunch or food of some sort.

Hey, let me in.

I'll give you a cookie.
That's the welcoming smile I was hoping for. Now scoot over and make room for my badonkadonk.
It has got to be a crime of some sort to put a John Deere planter on a Case International tractor.

Geez, I'm not in the tractor 2 minutes and I already have crap all over my jeans.

Warning: do not try to eat a spinach alfredo Lean Cusine pizza while riding shotgun in a tractor. It will lead to a blob of goo on your shoes. I'm batting a thousand here.
Crank that wheel around baby, let's plant some sorghum.

He's got that look-behind pose down better than an a-list actress at a red carpet premiere.

Don't worry honey, your lines are straight. Everyone knows it is your greatest fear to have someone drive by and see that your rows aren't perfectly square with the road. Oh, the horror of it.

The tractor may need painted and the back window may need replaced, but you better believe we've got an air freshener and new carpet in the cab ... because that's how we roll.

Doesn't it smell good in here?

This is one happy girl who loves her farmer.

Now hand over the keys and let me drive, dammit!


Anonymous said...

Don't feel too bad aabout the rock thingy.I was helping your Grandpa Jerome and his brother round up cattle.I asked which corner they were to be head for. Well a swing of the arm told me nothing.So I rounded my little 2 or 3 head and was driveing into one corner. I looked up and saw the biggest part of the herd in one corner--not the one that I was headed for. Well I spured the horse and yelled like a
a crazed person and came up on the herd and hit the middle and scattered them all over the pasture
Needless to say I was invited to go the house and fix coffee for them. Also they would call me when they needed any more help.
Damma Taffy

Patria William said...

I could tell that you had fun even though you were just a passenger. Maybe next time, he'll let you drive. Heavy equipments has lot of uses; it's not only for house builders but for farmers too. It's an advantage that your farmer/husband knows how to drive. Good luck on the farming and keep safe!

Patria William @Red Bull Equipment