Monday, May 9, 2011

Ken and Barbie

Five years ago my dad, brother and I planned a surprise trip to our Colorado cabin for my mom's 50th birthday. ((Sorry mom, I'm giving away your age. But with hair as white as yours, you aren't fooling anybody.))

We also surprised her with a photographer so we could take our first family photo in about 15 years. A much needed upgrade from our last professional pic --- taken by Olan Mills at church. Nothing against Olan Mills but ... well, yeah, I guess I am slammin' on Olan Mills. I mean, have you ever seen a good Olan Mills portrait?

I digress. As usual.

Anyway, we have always joked that one of the pictures we took that summer at the cabin looks like an engagement photo.

It's totally gross. I actually have my hand on my brother's shoulder.

A couple of years later. Enter Ken and Barbie:

Same guy. Same location. Different girl. This time my brother has a girlfriend at the cabin.

The obvious new joke is that now this looks like an engagement picture.

A much more suitable couple. Not to mention legal in all 50 states.

But the poor girl would have to wait another couple of years after that before she got her official engagement pictures.

These two are just too glamorous for words.

It's a match made in fairy tale heaven.

The NFL cheerleader and the successful lawyer.

((By the way, I know I should be crediting some fabulous Kansas City photographer for these engagement pictures, but I have no idea who. So kudos to you -- anonymous photographer -- and please don't sue me.))

She is the sophisticated city girl.

And he is the small town boy who left for the big city.


Just kidding.

I left too.

Both have hearts of gold and just want everyone around them to be happy.

My brother and I became pretty close in college. When I would frequently visit his college town we would tailgate together with my uncle on Saturdays and go to lunch together on Sundays before I left. And then when he went to law school at my university, we lived together my last two years of college. Believe it or not, we never had a single argument. We took turns cooking and cleaning, went to church together, even went to the bars together.

When I graduated and left for New York he would call me about once a week to chat.

So when the calls abruptly stopped, I knew something had to be up.

You guessed it.

Big brother got a girlfriend.

Ken found Barbie. Which left no time for annoying little Skipper.

I have to admit, at first I was like 'who is this chick?'

She almost seemed too perfect.

But despite the fact that she is a size 0, her hair is always perfectly coiffed, and she forever looks flawless ... I just couldn't hate her.

Isn't it my little sister duty to instantly hate the barbie doll girlfriend?

Problem is, she's just too dang nice.

And she is perfect for my brother.

She loves the outdoors as much as he does.

And not only will she put up with him wearing the same kind of ridiculous aqua socks my dad wears, but it appears as if she wears them while rafting now too.

That's love if I've ever seen it.


And I'm finding out through our once a year meetings, occasional phone calls and now daily e-mails that she is the sister I never had.

And in a little more than three weeks, she will officially be my sister.

In law.

That last part is just a legal technicality.

She is a total glam star.

And I look like Raggedy Ann.

But I'm pretty sure we could still pass for sisters.

On another planet.

Where the aliens don't have eyes.

And scales don't exist.

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