I am headed home to Kansas for the third time in recent months.
This time for my high school class reunion.
As in, yikes, so much for that bangin' hot body I planned on achieving for this momentous occasion.
As in, yikes, I hope everyone doesn't think I turned out to be a giant loser.
As in, yikes, I'm going to have to field a thousand questions about why I don't have kids yet.
Because apparently that is a requirement for a woman at my age.
Good thing this thing is going to have alcohol at it.
(Pretend you didn't read that Grandma.)
But before I head home again, I still needed to dump off all of the pictures I took on my phone and camera from my last visit a couple weeks ago.
So here goes.
By the way, sorry for the Instagram insanity. It wreaks of I just got my first iPhone.
I caught a college football game while I was home last month.
Well, it was more of a slaughter than it was a game.
In our favor.
Hung out at the bar with old friends, like my man B.
Watched my sister-in-law school my brother in a game of pool.
That was embarassing.
Don't let the sweet little demeanor fool you.
She's a little pool hustler, you gotta watch out.
That's when a random little dog came in the bar off the street.
I planned on stealing him. But he had tags.
And only in a dinky little town can someone look at the phone number on the tags and recall exactly whose number that is.
We celebrated my Grandmother's 80th birthday, where I gave her this sunflower apron.
She loves all things sunflower and Kansas.
On Sunday after church, my cousin's little boys invited us over to check out their new fort.
And don't you dare make the mistake of calling it a playhouse.
You will be corrected.
Kelton gave us the grand tour.
He was pretty proud.
As he should be.
This thing was amazing.
Little Marcus showed us how his rock climbing wall works.
But he wasn't about to go off the zipline.
So big brother Kelton showed us how it's done.
A perfect landing on the big round bales waiting at the end.
Then my big brother had to try it out.
We looked a little ridiculous in our church clothes. But it's not like there are neighbors out there in No-Man's-Land Kansas. No one was watching.
He glided down with perfect ease.
As did the boys' mom, my cousin, Kristi.
She can rock a pair of stilletos on a farm like it's her job.
Even my sister-in-law braved the zipline.
A little nervous at first...
..but she came in for a textbook landing.
Where she got help off of the bale from Mr. Newlywed Husband.
Give it a few years Shannon, those kind of gestures stop.
Alright people, look out.
I'll show you how it's done.
I'm practically a professional at this kind of stuff.
Watch me glide it in and land with complete poise.
As usual, I'm the idiot of the crowd.