I would say long story short. But let's be honest...
Long story long, this is how I found out my dog has an array of mental disorders:
Our Border Collie had a little run-in with a groundhog recently:
Shortly after I quit filming, the little rodent jumped up on Woodrow, dug into the dog's back with his sharp teeth, and bit down hard so he could hang on for a wild ride.
Woody squealed like a pig while he tried to shake the groundhog off. He bucked like a bronc flinging the critter from side to side.
Eventually the pup succeeded.
That's when J tracked down the groundhog in some nearby brush.
I won't tell you what the stick is for.
We'll just say we had to figure out a way to keep the groundhog from going anywhere, in the event he had to be tested for rabies.
The following day, Woodrow went to the vet to get a rabies booster just to be safe.
While I was there, I asked the vet if dogs happen to get schizophrenia.
Yes, especially Border Collies, she quickly answered.
And Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, too.
That explains a lot.
And I'm not trying to be funny.
Woodrow is truly 100% schizophrenic and OCD.
This dog has the most ridiculous tendencies, habits and freakout sessions.
To put it plain and simple: he's a nutjob.
But he's just so darn lovable.
So affectionate and loyal.
I like to think that his mental instability just adds to his personality.
Of course, it doesn't help matters when I torture him with his arch nemesis, the handheld fan, while in the tight confines of my car.
I'm a jerk, I know.