So my mom thought it would be cool to go on an almost two-week trip with a three month old baby, criss-crossing the U.S. to introduce me to family.
First things first. I decided if I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it in style.
Here's me in my new winter gear...
Alright let's get this show on the road.
Mom was all freaked out about how I would be on all the plane rides.
Pfft. Please. I got this.
So much so that I felt the need to flip off the camera just to show that this ain't no big deal.
I flip my parents off a lot.
I'm still not sure why it's such a big deal.
What was that?
It's getting bumpy in here.
Hold me, I'm scared.
I hate turbulan.... annnnd, I'm out.
Bounced me straight to sleep.
Speaking of sleep, after we landed in Kansas City I took a nap on my Uncle Nathan and Aunt Shannon's plush, swanky guest bed.
These city people really know how to do it up right.
Then we got on the road to surprise my grandpa at his basketball game.
He's a college basketball coach.
And a goofy guy.
He gets all up in my face and is like Auuuuuuguuuuuuust, hey Auuuuuuuguuuuuuuust.
He thinks it makes me giggle.
But really I'm just laughing at him.
And then there's my crazy aunt....
She taught me how to "photobomb" at the basketball game.
Pay no attention to my grandma. She's not quite sure how to act or where to look when there is a camera present. I'm totally giving her the stink eye about it.
And then my Aunt Shannon brought me over to the cheerleaders and asked if they would take a picture with me.
Please girl, you don't have to ask.
I'm a ladies man.
Everyone wants to take their picture with me.
Aunt Shannon is all about me.
Until it's time to check out her five-thousand social media apps.
Then I'm chopped liver.
I'm not sure what book she is facing, which vine she is climbing, why she snaps when she chats, or what in the world a tweet is. But this girl is on top of it.
I'm starting to think she's just using me to get more likes.
We stayed at a hotel that night because grandpa's team had another game the next day.
It was my first night in a crib.
My mom is such a pushover. She hasn't made me sleep in my crib in my nursery yet.
Actually, pushover may not be the right word.
I recall her saying something about being too lazy to walk down the hall in the middle of the night.
As long as I get attention.
So my Aunt Shannon also taught me about selfies, too.
You know, when you take a picture of yourself trying to look cool in an effort to get compliments.
But not to be outdone, mom snapped a selfie of us in the hotel mirror before breakfast.
You can't see in this picture, but I have a pretty killer duckface.
After the second basketball game we drove home to grandma and grandpa's house.
Grandma said she had a few things up on the guest bed for me.
Apparently 17 books, 3 toys, 24 outfits and an iPhone 5s are her definition of a few things.
The phone is actually for my mom though.
Grandma said it's because she needs my mom to send better quality pictures of me.
The next morning we went to church and at the Thanksgiving dinner afterwards I got a little sleepy.
And that's when I became the centerpiece.
That afternoon we went to the house where my grandpa grew up.
There was another baby there.
We're related somehow.
Dude totally showed me up when it was picture time.
He's all cheesin' for the camera -- making me look like a doofus.
I told them I wasn't ready yet. Goshhhhhh.
Everyone made a big deal out of the fact that he's 5 weeks older than me and I'm waaaaay bigger.
C'mon people. I'm just giving you more to love.
As a matter of fact, I heard it's cool to wear 9 month clothes at 3 months old.
It makes me seem older and more distinguished.
That's mom, her brother and cousins.
Annnnnd here I am passed out at yet another Thanksgiving dinner at church that evening.
Everyone wants to act like I eat a lot.
Because I'm pretty sure it's the grownups who are out of control.
The following day we went to visit grandma at her third grade classroom.
This is my balla' look.
Mom had to go and ruin it with the fuzzy sleeping bag thingy.
When grandma's 3rd graders came back from recess they all like, oh my gosh, a baaaaaaabyyyyyyyyyyyy.
But grandma was like, stand back boys and girls, don't touch.
It's like I'm a museum exhibit or something.
Alright, I need to go.
It's tummy time.
I'll be back to tell you more about my trip.